[MsMilano's Blog]
The Shame Is Over!Sick of
2007-03-01
Is there anything we can do to deactivate the holding effects individual traumas have on us? YES! Many of us have heard about "embracing your pains" or "Letting go of your past" I disagree with both of these recovery concepts. I believe they both pacify rather than respectfully address the issues which often have long term holds on us emotionally, mentally and result in enormous physical consequences such as illnesses related to stress. Further more, these so called recovery concepts leave the individual in the victim state and hold them suspended in the conditioning of fault and guilt. Maintaining such presence in society and in one's personal surroundings can result in the individual responding in duress to circumstances which could greatly effect or alter their emotional, mental and physical freedoms.
Here are my "Holistic First Aid Steps to Soul Recovery". (This is not the answer to complete recovery, it is my first aid outline. To benefit from the complete plan of recovery, please register to attend a "Love They Self" Recovery Tour.) It is strongly suggested that you sit down with a piece of paper and write your response to each step as you go. You may do this alone but I recommend doing this with a close friend or recovery mentor who can lend support while you work through your recovery. This helps with emotional control, attentiveness, reflection and organization of thought. If you find that you are unable to bring your emotions under control, seek the help of a professional immediately.
1) Above all, no matter how badly you feel about yourself and your situation, you must place loving yourself above every circumstance and emotion. Protect yourself and be sure your environment is safe and enables you to take these initial steps of recovery. NEVER respond to your pain with further injury to yourself! Be prepared to forgive yourself for any negative consequences resulting in your impulse response to the effects of your injury. Be prepared to forgive the effects of the initial injury as you go through the process of recovery. Finally, be prepared to forgive your victim abuser for inflicting the injury upon you WHILE retaining your right to hold them accountable and responsible for the initial assault.
2) Truthfully identify and acknowledge that you have been injured and in how many places you have been injured. (mentally, emotionally and or physically)
3) Clean the wound so that you can determine the severity of your injury. This means after a reasonable time of "impulse reaction time" (crying, shouting, screaming, or verbally communicating your pain) you need to compose yourself, calm down and look at your issue in as controlled a manner as possible. Ask yourself, "Where are you hurt? How bad is it?" Answer the questions, don't just ask them.
4) Isolate the cause and effect of the injury. Find the initial cause: This happened to me because... (assign blame to the situation and victim abuser not to yourself). Effect: _________ is happening to me as a result of this injury to me. (List the consequences resulting in the effect of initial injury and identify the extended effects of those consequences. Accountability and responsibility for serial consequences will be shared by the abuser and the victim.)
There are perspectives of approach in doing this, either achieves the same results. One is called the "Pull and Peal" process. To pull up the root of your pain by pealing back the series of effects so that they can be identified and you can deal with the extent of initial injury.
For example: You can list your most current issue first if your not sure what the initial injury was that resulted in you being in your current situation... I sleep a lot and my parents feel I am taking advantage of them, which resulted because I moved in with my parents, which resulted because I quit my job, which resulted because I hate myself, which resulted because I secretly had an abortion, which resulted because I was impregnated, which resulted because I was raped. Cause and Effect established.
The second perspective of approach is called the "Get Bone Deep" process. This process starts from the initial wound and digs down through the layers of impact to determine the extent of injury.
For Example: You can list your initial injury first if you feel you know what issue which resulted in your being placed in your current situation ... I was raped, as a result I was impregnated, as a result I had an abortion, as a result I hate myself, as a result I quit my job, as a result I moved in with my parents, as result I sleep a lot and my parents feel I am taking advantage of them. Cause and Effect Established.
5) EACH cause and effect which was broken down must be given individual attention, forgiveness, accountability, responsibility and proper placement within your being. You must deliberately work it out, work it through, and incorporate it. How do you do this? Discover what the lessons to be learned are. List the positive lesson(s) and the negative lesson(s) for each cause and effect. Both positive and negative lessons WILL absolutely be existent.
6) Incorporate the lessons! Don't "embrace" or "let go" of a thing! Incorporate it! Once you incorporate, the hold will dissipate naturally and the emotional, mental and physical impacts will transform dramatically and permanently for your well being.
7) Apply the lessons as you engage in the process of reconditioning... see work book for more details.
When you eat food, your body takes the good with the bad and processes the food, breaking it down and excreting the waste. IF you can not excrete the waste, your body will endure great stress and pain... (constipation). A blockage will form that can become so severe that it risks your very life, sometimes requiring surgical removal. This is similar to the process of emotional recovery. When you are injured, your body takes on something to be digested or processed through it's entire system (mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually). If you do not properly process or digest the impacts of injury, tending to only parts of the whole wound, you will as a result begin the blockage process as opposed to excreting the waste and digesting the lessons, this extends and adds further trauma to one's individual attempt at recovery.
Humans are a part of a total evolving creation. Part of how we evolve in to stronger, wiser, healthier human beings is through our ability to process/digest new experiences and information and our ability to moderate, adjust, and manage positive and negative experiences. I hope this information is of good value to you, apply it, try it out on your minor cuts and scrapes, if it works for you, apply it to your larger wounds.
Copyright 2006-2007 Ms. Rachel E. Milano
Here are my "Holistic First Aid Steps to Soul Recovery". (This is not the answer to complete recovery, it is my first aid outline. To benefit from the complete plan of recovery, please register to attend a "Love They Self" Recovery Tour.) It is strongly suggested that you sit down with a piece of paper and write your response to each step as you go. You may do this alone but I recommend doing this with a close friend or recovery mentor who can lend support while you work through your recovery. This helps with emotional control, attentiveness, reflection and organization of thought. If you find that you are unable to bring your emotions under control, seek the help of a professional immediately.
1) Above all, no matter how badly you feel about yourself and your situation, you must place loving yourself above every circumstance and emotion. Protect yourself and be sure your environment is safe and enables you to take these initial steps of recovery. NEVER respond to your pain with further injury to yourself! Be prepared to forgive yourself for any negative consequences resulting in your impulse response to the effects of your injury. Be prepared to forgive the effects of the initial injury as you go through the process of recovery. Finally, be prepared to forgive your victim abuser for inflicting the injury upon you WHILE retaining your right to hold them accountable and responsible for the initial assault.
2) Truthfully identify and acknowledge that you have been injured and in how many places you have been injured. (mentally, emotionally and or physically)
3) Clean the wound so that you can determine the severity of your injury. This means after a reasonable time of "impulse reaction time" (crying, shouting, screaming, or verbally communicating your pain) you need to compose yourself, calm down and look at your issue in as controlled a manner as possible. Ask yourself, "Where are you hurt? How bad is it?" Answer the questions, don't just ask them.
4) Isolate the cause and effect of the injury. Find the initial cause: This happened to me because... (assign blame to the situation and victim abuser not to yourself). Effect: _________ is happening to me as a result of this injury to me. (List the consequences resulting in the effect of initial injury and identify the extended effects of those consequences. Accountability and responsibility for serial consequences will be shared by the abuser and the victim.)
There are perspectives of approach in doing this, either achieves the same results. One is called the "Pull and Peal" process. To pull up the root of your pain by pealing back the series of effects so that they can be identified and you can deal with the extent of initial injury.
For example: You can list your most current issue first if your not sure what the initial injury was that resulted in you being in your current situation... I sleep a lot and my parents feel I am taking advantage of them, which resulted because I moved in with my parents, which resulted because I quit my job, which resulted because I hate myself, which resulted because I secretly had an abortion, which resulted because I was impregnated, which resulted because I was raped. Cause and Effect established.
The second perspective of approach is called the "Get Bone Deep" process. This process starts from the initial wound and digs down through the layers of impact to determine the extent of injury.
For Example: You can list your initial injury first if you feel you know what issue which resulted in your being placed in your current situation ... I was raped, as a result I was impregnated, as a result I had an abortion, as a result I hate myself, as a result I quit my job, as a result I moved in with my parents, as result I sleep a lot and my parents feel I am taking advantage of them. Cause and Effect Established.
5) EACH cause and effect which was broken down must be given individual attention, forgiveness, accountability, responsibility and proper placement within your being. You must deliberately work it out, work it through, and incorporate it. How do you do this? Discover what the lessons to be learned are. List the positive lesson(s) and the negative lesson(s) for each cause and effect. Both positive and negative lessons WILL absolutely be existent.
6) Incorporate the lessons! Don't "embrace" or "let go" of a thing! Incorporate it! Once you incorporate, the hold will dissipate naturally and the emotional, mental and physical impacts will transform dramatically and permanently for your well being.
7) Apply the lessons as you engage in the process of reconditioning... see work book for more details.
When you eat food, your body takes the good with the bad and processes the food, breaking it down and excreting the waste. IF you can not excrete the waste, your body will endure great stress and pain... (constipation). A blockage will form that can become so severe that it risks your very life, sometimes requiring surgical removal. This is similar to the process of emotional recovery. When you are injured, your body takes on something to be digested or processed through it's entire system (mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually). If you do not properly process or digest the impacts of injury, tending to only parts of the whole wound, you will as a result begin the blockage process as opposed to excreting the waste and digesting the lessons, this extends and adds further trauma to one's individual attempt at recovery.
Humans are a part of a total evolving creation. Part of how we evolve in to stronger, wiser, healthier human beings is through our ability to process/digest new experiences and information and our ability to moderate, adjust, and manage positive and negative experiences. I hope this information is of good value to you, apply it, try it out on your minor cuts and scrapes, if it works for you, apply it to your larger wounds.
Copyright 2006-2007 Ms. Rachel E. Milano
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